5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love

5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love

Why did you betray me?

I should have said I was sorry. Why didn’t I?

You broke my heart into a million pieces. How could you be so cold?

I’ve been there, too!

When I trusted another person, and they let me down in a big way.

I didn’t say I was sorry when I could have.

I was hurt in such a devastating way that my heart shattered into a million pieces.

Man, it’s the worst feeling when you can’t stop crying. It feels like your whole body is in this constant state of quivering, and it just won’t stop.

I found it was so hard to move past it and into a new direction. So, you stayed in your hurt and let it control you.

Sometimes it feels like –

“If I continue to stay in the hurt, they will see that they were wrong for doing what they did to me. And will come crawling back to beg for my forgiveness.” (If only that were true.)

Then when you see this is not going to happen, that’s when you get angry. Gurr…  It is sooo easy to blame them for your hurt & anger.

“The only way to truly move on from

the hurt & anger is to forgive!”

You’re probably thinking ~ (I know I did!)

“Why should I forgive them??? They hurt me!”

I get it! Forgiveness is the last thing on your mind when someone has hurt you and is one of the hardest things to do.

But you only hurt yourself when you don’t learn to forgive and let go of the hurt & anger.

When you hold on to it, you generate all kinds of negative energy that keeps it locked and alive in your mind.

“Our minds are causing our suffering.”

Let that sink in…

However, it does take time to process everything. So let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. That way, you can work on releasing it.

Sometimes it’s not just about forgiving the person or situation. It can be about forgiving yourself for the part you played in the hurtful situation.

Again, I get it! It’s so hard to see your part and take any responsibility. When it was that person who hurt you, right?

5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love

Unfortunately, I usually (not always) did have some responsibility, even though I couldn’t see it at the time.

Meaning sometimes, I didn’t stand up for myself, and I allowed the other person’s behavior to continue to hurt me.

And sometimes, I kept holding on to my hurt and anger so tight I let IT take over my mind.

So, I had a choice! Hold on to my hurt and anger, or learn to let go and move forward with forgiveness and love!

You have the same choice too!

Believe me, I know this sounds impossible when you are in so much pain. However, it’s not the actions you forgive. It’s more about finding forgiveness for the person, the past, and yourself.

It’s about letting go of what is no longer happening to you and moving forward in your life.

5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love

Here are 5 steps to Forgiveness and Love

Give all of these practices a try. Then you will know what works best for you. You may not want to do all of the practices all of the time.

But you can pick two or more and make them a new habit for your forgiveness and love routine!

The 5-Steps are:

  1. Draw a line on a page
  2. Ho’oponopono
  3. Write a letter
  4. Meditate
  5. Journal

Disclosure:  This post contains affiliate links.

1. Draw a line down a page

This idea came from Rhonda Britten, author of Change Your Life in 30 Days & Fearless Living.

All you need is a piece of paper and a pen. Now draw a line down the middle of the page.

On the top left side of the page, write the person’s name that hurt you, and then write your name on the top right.

Under their name, write what it was they did that hurt you. Write all details you want or keep it short.

Then, on the left side of the page, under your name, write.

I’m willing to forgive you.

This practice is even more powerful if you say it aloud while writing. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. It will help you release all of those unpleasant feelings.

Here’s an example:

–Their name here–                       –Your name here–

You left me without a word        –   I’m willing to forgive you

What you said hurt me deeply   –   I’m willing to forgive you

Why did you???                          –   I’m willing to forgive you

And so on…                                               

 

5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love

2. Ho’oponopono

The Hawaiian mystical philosophy of Ho’oponopono shows us the powerful use of apology, forgiveness, and love in a spiritual context.

Based on ancient Hawaiian wisdom, it uses four statements to cleanse and heal our collective mind continually. These statements are:

I’m sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

“Ho’oponopono is said on behalf of herself and all creation, seeing and understanding all life’s interconnectedness.

Whenever she feels even a tiny twinge of fear or discomfort on any level, she can use these four statements to bring her back into sanity and peace.

Therefore, taking complete responsibility for everything happening in her life situation and the world situation.

She apologizes then asks for forgiveness, thanks, and love for herself, the other person, and the Whole.”

Think about the person or situation that caused your hurt. Then, repeat these four phrases until you feel a release from your mind and body.

You can do this exercise at any time throughout the day as needed.

Plus, you can print a copy and put it by your desk, hang it on the frig., bathroom mirror, anywhere and everywhere you will see it, as a reminder to forgive and love!

Or wear it –

7 Chakra Ho’oponopono Bracelet

Ho’oponopono Hawaii Necklace

Disclosure:  This post contains affiliate links.

3. Write a letter

Writing your thoughts and feelings down is a great practice when you have so much gunk is in your head.

Start writing, and don’t worry about grammar. Write down everything you feel, write and write and write, let it all out.

This helps release those tormenting thoughts in your mind.  

“Whatever hurt you is not happening anymore.

 

You don’t need to send it.

Once done writing everything down, you can burn it.

When you write it all down, you will have released the gunk from your mind and body.

Then, when you burn it, you’ve released it again into thin air.

Here are some thought-provoking cards to help you release

Meditation Cards, Mindfulness Cards, for Women

Intention Cards, with Thought-Provoking Questions, for Women 

4. Meditate

Meditation is a great practice to start. It helps by getting you back into your body and grounding you.

When you meditate, it will help release negative trapped energy inside you and help quiet your mind.

5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love 

Benefits of Meditation

  • It can help release hurt & anger
  • Can relieve daily stresses
  • Helps with physical pain
  • Calms emotional pain
  • It helps find forgiveness and love
  • Can lower blood pressure
  • Get a deeper, more restful sleep
  • Connect with spirit/higher power

Meditating is a learned skill that we can all develop. So make sure you give it a good try.

Try it for a good month or longer to hone this new practice and find what works best for you.

Meditating will clear your mind, so you can go deep into releasing new & old negative energy and those tormenting thoughts from your mind.  

For more information about meditation, check out this post!

“I finally learned how to meditate and get results.”

Here is some meditation music to help you get started

Deep Forgiveness, Deep Love – Music

Meditation for Love & Forgiveness – Guided meditation

5. Journal

Journal – this is a great way to let it all out. It’s an ongoing letter to release, forgive and love.

When you journal, you can recreate your story by changing what’s inside of you and how you think & feel about what happened.

It’s not about changing that person, what happened, or the past.

Rewriting your story will be liberating!

Here’s are two examples:

  1. “They forgot my birthday, which hurts me and makes me feel like I’m not loved.”

Rewrite this statement to show forgiveness and love?

  1. “This person I love forgot my birthday. I wonder if something stressful is going on making them forget?”

In the first statement, you feel sad that they forgot.

The second statement you are thinking, when they start forgetting things, they are usually stressed or bothered by something.

So now you feel concerned and wonder what may be stressing or bothering them.

OR this one

  1. “She is always saying and doing mean things to me, which hurts me and makes me mad.”

Rewrite this statement to show forgiveness and love?

  1. “She may be feeling insecure, angry, or lonely. And when I shared my good news, it triggered her, so she lashed out at me again.”

In the first statement, you feel hurt and angry that this person is always saying mean things and lashing out at you.

The second statement shows you know she is always doing this to you. Because she is sensitive and always speaks before she thinks.

So, by acknowledging this, you are better able to let it go because you realize that it’s not about you. It’s truly about that person.

You get the idea!

Here are two excellent journals to get you started!

When the Clock Strikes Midlife… It’s YOUR Time To Shine: An Interactive and Creative Weekly Journal To Cultivate Your Midlife Awakening  by Cin Di Lo

Beautiful Leather Bound Journal With Refillable Pages for Women

Life continually gives us unpleasant experiences that we need to work through and overcome, big and small.

We all do the best we can, but sometimes we get the brunt of someone else’s insecurities, faults, meanness, whatever it is.

Remember, forgiveness isn’t always about someone else. Sometimes you need to forgive yourself too.

For not following through, not loving yourself, not taking care of yourself, or beating yourself up with your words.

 “It’s not what happens to you in life.

It’s how you deal with it!”

5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love

Doing the 5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love is Not a one-time fix-it-all event, and it doesn’t mean you won’t have sad, angry, stressful moments either.

So, anytime you feel stressed, sad, hurt, angry, or upset, use these practices to bring yourself back to the present moment.

It’s all you have, so enjoy it!

 

Here’s to 5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love!

Susie ∞ 

P.S. Give the 5-Steps to Forgiveness and Love a try for all of your past, present, and future ordeals. 

 

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*Please understand that we are not offering any medical advice. We do not attempt to diagnose, treat, or cure anything. In addition, we can’t promise that any natural remedy will solve a particular health/skin issue. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your discretion.


Disclosure:  This post contains affiliate links. Blooming in Midlife.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. If you click a link on this site and purchase, I may receive an affiliate commission at no additional cost to you. I appreciate your support of Blooming in Midlife. ∞


 

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